I've been lazy & I don't have a tribe

I started using social media ~ half heartedly ~ over the past several months.

I wonder sometimes if it's because I miss my dog, who passed away on November 21, 2021. He was my bff for 16 years and my last remaining friend from the time my entire world fell apart.

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad *a song* how so many millions of us are grieving but also ignoring the human suffering and sadness that is accompanying that suffering right now.

As if 1/2 our population has turned their humanity switch off (a vampire diaries term).

His death left a hole in my heart. Social media, no matter how popular, or successful or free we feel, will never fill a meaningful emptiness in anyone's heart.

It's a dopamine fix at best, but a soul crushing energy draining entity at it's worst. People have weaponized social media.

Don't think so?

Who wins wars?

The person with the biggest following or the most influence over others.

Who is the biggest sucker?

The person who thinks they can go it alone with out external support.

Take coaching for example.

I started getting into the coaching industry in 2011. Do you know how many people just entering the coaching industry approach me to try to sell me THEIR coaching skills???

Um, more than I can count.

That's the model.

It's an MLM (Multilevel Marketing scheme for a majority of the people out there calling themselves coaches.

They don't even recognize someone's powerful skills in the field who took extensive training for it. They only know it from their own lens, which often times, is just weeks of training. Without much background other than .... popularity ... of the person or organization that trained them.

Does that mean it's all bad?


It means it's all watered down and synthetic.

Now look at the "best seller celebrity books" out there.

They all hire ghost writers. In good conscious, not everyone can write a book.

How do they all just look directly into someone's eyes and say, "I've written a book"!

They negotiate with their truth.

They paid a solid amount of money to have the book written for them. They also pay to have their nutrition, body, exercise, wardrobe, brand placement, lifestyle, home, and maybe even dog ~ carefully placed for them so they can look ~ naturally alluring to the masses.

People with less influence, power or financial strength may call them out, but to what avail?

Getting publicly flogged for daring to speak out against the darling.

It's part of the industry.

Every industry has a dark side. Every person online has a motive for being there.

Some (perhaps most) have an agenda, or they wouldn't bother.

Many feel absolutely entitled to the private lives of others, as if it's expected. And yet, I often wonder how much of someone's life belongs on social media, or in the world at all.

For the last almost two years, I've been selectively socially isolated. I chose that for myself. As a result, I sat on my mountaintop, meditating, thinking, even a whole lot of unpacking of the life I've had until this point.

I also started thinking about two quotes,

"Nobody's Coming" ~ Mel Robbins

"Stop watering dead plants" ~ T.D. Jakes

Both are true.

IMO, during my solitude, social media didn't have much meaning. I didn't water it.

I also know that nobody's coming but plenty of people had intent to do my harm, so I had to wonder every time I posted, which one of the evil malignant cyber stalkers was looking at my words.

Here are three major life lessons I learned from all of the above

  1. Know your worth. Stick to it. No matter what else happens. Know that you deserve better than some stranger telling you what you HAVE to do or WHO you are. Only you get to decide that.

  2. Learn how the game is played. It's all a game. They don't want to admit it, but even Einstein called it that and knew better. Learn how to know better. Learn which battles to fight in and which ones to walk away from (Kenny Rogers).

  3. They won't respect you until you respect yourself. Stand, 'tits up' to the rest of them. (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel). Especially if you have a vagina. The world will try to push you down. Push back.

People are trying to survive. That's all. Survival of the fittest is the most accurate slogan ever spoken ~ next to Just Do It (the best $21 ever spent on a slogan design).

As for using the internet~

I'm anything but lazy. But I have been clarifying and aligning my values (what I can stomach) and what my ethics will allow me to participate in.

I'm never impressed with "the big sale" ~ how could I be. I was raised by PT Barnum himself. A guy who taught me the nuance of the con. I SEE the con, whether you want me to or not. I also know sincerity in all it's subtle micro truths. I can't help it. I've been studying it for decades longer than most of you have been alive. I've had no choice.

As for the tribe?

Cats are honest, trust worthy and cute. Who needs more tribe than that?

Sure, they smell when they poo, but it's a fair price to pay in trade for loyalty and love. They won't be sending their wolves out to cyber stalk me for years after a back stabbing mugging of my soul.

The bottom line?

I am a qualitative researcher, curious to a fault and as my dear old dad used to say when I got too close to the truth, "have a big mouth".

Which I now use to write.

As for social media and/or coaching ~ I choose peace over profits or people every day of the week.

Theme song for 2020-2022 ~ Mad World

What's your industry like?

How much of yourself are you willing to trade?

Who do you turn to for support?

Why are so many people talking all at once?

Where do you go to replenish your brain?

Answer those ~ then follow your nose. It always knows. The flavor to savor (I'm just full of slogans and tag lines this morning).

Bottom Line ~

I'm becoming a ghost. On Fiverr. On UpWork. Even here. I'll create a page with more details.

I'd rather live a quiet life than become a competitive celebrity pseudoscientist.

I'll post deets once it's all up.

My life choice is to live in the woods, in my little cabin away from it all, and learn how to felt, craft and continue to paint. To me, that's the life that sounds worth waiting for.

Me ~

@inkhoneypub (social media)

Tit's Up Ladies! Show 'em whose Boss!

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