The wisdom of the mother (very Jungian in a way) giving advice to everyone who is feeling anxious and stressed out right now. It's just a bit of advice. We don't have to "buy in" to the notion that we NEED anything ~ including the thoughts that make us feel inferior in any way to anyone else.
This is something I've been working on as part of my NaNoWriMo2020 efforts. Indulge me a minute, as a reflection on the concept of completely flipping my career at the delightfully free age of 56. Something, BTW, I'm thrilled about. I love living in my fifties. Whoever told you that this turning point was at all negative, was either not there yet, OR, an unsatisfied customer. It's flipping awesome.
I don't care if anyone else agrees, or doesn't agree. I am unapologetic for any word I use, or any toes I may step on while I hike away the path of life. Well, I will apologize for toe stepping, but I tend to gingerly walk around anyone slowing me down or tripping me up. I'm not afraid of 'saying the wrong thing' and I'm certainly not interested if anybody likes me or not. I earned my opinion. Women living in their elder years starting at middle age, earned their right to sit at the table. No matter what current cultural climate tells you. Been there. Done that. Bought the book. No, wrote ... the book. Indelible Women, to be precise. All through my 20's, 30's and 40's, I held onto the contrived notion that we have to just go along with whatever someone else tells us just so we can be accepted by society. Bullshit. Whoever said that was trying to be an influencer by force. I'm a clutter-a-holic but I'm okay with that. I enjoy my books and paper piles. I know where everything is and should be. Being neat and organized is a lovely concept, but a bit of mess brings me comfort. Look at Einstein's desk, thank you very much. I love the idea of Pinterest worthy images in picture perfect places. In real life? I like a bit of lived in mess.
I'd love to be a minimalist but in a physical space, prefer to collect things that I love. I would love to have just 7 outfits but probably won't. I'd love to spent all my money and time experiencing, rather than cleaning. That's a process. Parent's know it's not always possible. Especially in this time of covid and travel restrictions. **I'm a fan of Becoming Minimalist, even if I know I'm okay to not go all-in with getting all out**. Now? I'm writing for the NaNoWriMo but also finding distractions. I'm unpacking a LOT mentally. About the direction of my work ~ the time in my life ~ the meaning of everything and what matters most to most of us. "What is the meaning of all of this?" and, "What is my purpose?" have been weighing on my mind. Quality over quantity seems to be a theme that shows up in everything I do (we do) at this stage. In a time of gathering mass quantities of "likes" is the exact antithesis of everything in my life or work. The other extreme of course, is the 'starve the masses of what they want to give the perception of something people desire' theory ~ I'm in that psychological warfare while trying to buy an XboX series X and/or Play Station 5 for my kid for Christmas.
It's vulgar and frustrating, but as a parent with the last kid at home, I'm going the extra mile. Even though it goes against everything I believe in. The battle of wills in this supply and demand game gets me up at 3 am just to attempt to purchase a thing that will be totally irrelevant within the year. We know it'll be available in droves around March. Why do we do it? God only knows. It sucks the joy out of anything remotely close to any holiday season IMO. Why am I doing it? Because after almost thirty years as a parent-consumer, this will be the last time. Plus, last year, in true Skipping Christmas fashion, I literally skipped Christmas. Leave it to didactic mother's guilt to pull me right back in. Yes ~ retailers ~ you've changed your identity, but you have not died out. As much as retail specialists have been saying. You just followed the supply and demand psychology into Neverland. You say it's potato ~ aka, covid issues ~ I say potato ~ aka, money/ issues. I listened to Pink Floyd back in 80's ~ I know what's what :) With all of that said ~ I decided that the BEST way to thrive in our collective covid crisis is to choose our thoughts over our stuff. *you don't have to become a minimalist to do this. How? What? Why? Choose your thoughts? Because it helps to cultivate a stronger mindset that will help everyone to socially celebrate their own search of meaning and purpose. That's why.
Of course, we all know that thoughts just ... happen. We won't insult anyone who has been through trauma or a traumatizing event to say this. That would be a jerk thing to do. However ~ WHEN the thought happens ~ we can retrain our brains to choose not to stay STUCK in the thought OR spend any more time than necessary to hang out with people who try to force us to remember those events/thoughts/experiences.
1. IF someone is trying to hold you to the past ~ and maybe it's a past you don't want to have constantly knocking on your inner door ~ spend less and less time with them.
2. Introduce a "now" topic. Create a space that is present. Tell that person that you no longer have interest in being constantly reminded of something that once upon a time, was a hard life lesson for you.
3. If your brain is trying to hold you to something that makes you feel unhappy or miserable ~ tell it to feck off. You have happier, more interesting, modern day things to think about. Treat the thought as if it were a person. Say, "thanks for the reminder but I'm not buying today" and walk away from it in your mind's eye.
4. Create a life around you that reminds you that you are not stuck. Even if you are physically rooted to a place, you can create new adventures by reaching out past the tangible. New book ~ new movie or tv series ~ new craft ~ new talent like guitar or a language ~ construct a new way of seeing everything. Shift toward novelty.
LOVE the concept of becoming mentally minimalist when the world is so overwhelming for us.
Minimize the news.
Minimize time spent in a place or with people who don't feel good to your soul.
Minimize the amount of energy you give to people who make you work for their attention.
What's the point of all this? The wisdom of the mother (very Jungian in a way) giving advice to everyone who is feeling anxious and stressed out right now. It's just a bit of advice. We don't have to "buy in" to the notion that we NEED anything ~ including the thoughts that make us feel inferior in any way to anyone else. Crank up everything you love ~ turn off everything you don't. That, IMO, is also minimization. Mental Minimalization. Peace & Light! KH @Henryhealingpov & Henry Healing dot com